There’s a passage in one of my favorite book series (Discovery of Witches) where the main character (a witch) is overwhelmed by the power of her emotions and she creates a storm she can’t control. A source outside herself pulls her out of it before she dies. It’s not until later in the story that she learns how to stand in the middle of the chaos and utilize the insanity in a positive and powerful way. Has there been a sense of chaos around you?
A dear friend of mine once described this experience as a carousel. You can choose to ride on the outskirts, allowing the momentum to make you dizzy and blur your reality, to experience the loss of control, or you can stand in the middle where all is still and you can observe the mayhem from a centered perspective.
This one is hard for me to write because the energy today is shifting and hard to put in a direction. I think that’s the point, though. It’s about the surrender within and relinquishing the need to control everything all of the time. The personal journey continues from my last post and it’s really up to each of us to decipher our individual truth. So let’s begin with the biggest issue which seems to be the trend in anxiety, hysterical reactions, and the feeding into the false reality created by the media and our own delusions of how things “should be.”
Extreme sensitivity can create extreme reaction and a feeling of insanity. Sometimes we have to roll through those black outs of emotion to wake up and say, “Whoa.” Understand the insanity/anxiety/panic attack comes from the choice to be lost to the emotion instead of using it as a transformation tool. Insanity itself is the point of breakthrough, in my opinion. You have pressed yourself up against the glass so hard you can either break through to the other side or stay there and be suffocated. At that pivotal point allow yourself to be the eye of the storm and surrender to the realization of the cause. Then use the power of that realization to evolve yourself. Sometimes the fear of change makes us inflexible and we tie our own hands into the delusion of what we think reality is. Our expectation can also drown us in the motions manifested to bring transformation. We all want miracles but rarely do we allow the space for those miracles to exist. Think about it. What is a miracle? It is an extraordinarily positive event that seemingly comes out of nowhere, something you couldn’t have even imagined happening. So how can you ask for miracles when you are clinging so tightly to your expectations? The time to surrender ego inspired thinking is now. Get in touch with that little voice you’ve been listening to lately and cut the bullshit.
A few posts ago, I wrote about finding how you can incorporate into the collective as a unique and important aspect. Now you’ve got to travel towards that ability, and just like any journey, it doesn’t happen over night. Maybe you’ve hit some bumps on your way to seeing your purpose, or maybe it feels like you just can’t get there. Understand that the struggle is there for you to learn and let go. Soul work isn’t always rainbows and butterflies; sometimes it can be very painful and difficult to face. Maybe there’s a lot of fear to overcome and maybe your emotions run a little higher than you like. Or maybe there’s just too much happening around you and it’s hard to focus on what’s important, hard not to get swept up in the commotion. Whatever the reason, take a minute to relax and center yourself. Understand that whatever you’re experiencing is very important and serves as a message. Are your priorities in a genuine position? Are your desires heart centered? Are you being honest about what you truly want? Are you listening to the honesty of your intuition? Are you being immovable about how you attain your ideal reality? Are you choosing to turn away from the difficult aspects of transforming yourself? Are you seeking comfort in exterior pleasures as a mask for what’s hurting?
It’s time to get in the confession box, as one of my favorite astrologers has said. Let go of judgement, control, ideology, and just listen to your inner voice. Let go of what no longer serves you and open yourself to the possibility of the unexpected. Have a little faith and trust. Turn down the sounds of the fanatic and the quiet guidance of the sage will come through. Reconnect to your higher source/self/mind/whatever you want to call it and get back in touch with the divine/heart. Only then will you be able to see the path through the chaos.
“You have to be unconscious to be conscious.” -David Palmer, The Leo King, astrologer
Below is a link I found useful for understanding anxiety: